I know you must be really busy right now but I was wondering if you could help me out. This brewing beer business is really, really difficult you know. I honestly thought it was a case of pouring some hot water through malt, adding loads of hops and a bit of yeast and then sit back, hang out on social media and get invited to cool parties while I wait for an awesome beer to come out at the end.
But it’s nothing like that at all! It’s just so messy, pumping beer between all these different stainless steel vessels – fermenting here, conditioning there, cleaning hoses, sterilising, disinfecting, cleaning. And then more cleaning.
But just when I was at the end of my wits I heard about this amazing new bit of brewery equipment that takes all the strain out of brewing beer. Just press a button and after a few weeks bottles of beer pop straight out of the tank and you’re good to go. They’ve even got the labels on them FFS!
So please Santa, do me a favour this year and deliver one of these machines to my brewery so I can spend more time on Twitter and less time mopping the floor.
Darren (aged 44)